Tag Archives: medicine

New Hiking Spots…

I have been contemplating new hiking spots to walk by myself. I know you’re not suppose to go on hikes by yourself and that it’s dangerous, but I would like to go on small hikes by myself or at least on hikes where I know there is a lot of traffic of people. I would never go on a big hike completely by myself no matter how much I am inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s book. I admire her for what she did and making herself come to terms with her own demons and healing herself. But, I have to admit that hiking the PCT alone was the most asinine thing to do on the planet. Things were different back then in the mid’ nineties, but still a lot of things could have happened.

I tested my blood pressure last week here and there and I have come to the conclusion that it only raises due to stress. I don’t think I need medication for it if my blood pressure only rises due to stress. Therefore, I am going to practice meditation more seriously and hope for the best. I think I should have a better sleeping schedule and get more sleep and have a better diet. I’ve been a bit depressed on and off again for the past couple of weeks. This happens every few years around Valentine’s day. I’m usually ecstatic about celebrating Single’s Awareness Day (S.A.D.) because also the acronym makes me laugh. I am going to try and think more positively to counter the blues this year.

I’ve also started shortening my time with video games and only play on the weekends. The experiment so far is that I can’t wait to play to relax and then yet I found this week was still blah…

Then I ask myself questions of if I am growing out of it, losing my patience with them, or as I try to get healthier my mind and body want to do more productive things. Maybe it’s all of the above? Maybe it’s the depression’s fault. I want things to change. Things are changing. Things have to change. Change is constant.

 

Another update!

I ran out of subject lines…

Anyway, now that the weather is getting cooler it means that I can go outside to train. I also decided to give taking that one medicine twice a day another shot. This time though I won’t be eating a lot of junk because I think that led to me living in the bathroom. Well this medicine does make you GO, but amplifying that while eating junk food is NOT a good idea. I need to lower my blood sugar and I really want to do better and I keep forgetting that I really, really, really, really want to fit into a nice dress for my brother’s wedding. I am also trying to lose 12-14 pounds before the 18th of this month and if not  at least inches so I can fit into my jeans to do a cosplay for a thing that weekend. So far since Sunday I lost three pounds of what I was, but I know that’s mostly water weight because I recently was having female issues.

It’s back to the gym for me today and I need to really stop drinking diet soda. I know the bad things it can do, but I did some more updated research today and I was horrified. Aspartame can poison you so much and seriously no human should drink soda. ever.

Once in a blue moon maybe, but not everyday or week. Regular soda has it’s bad side too, but diet soda is worse. I need to free myself from my addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry.

In another development I seem to not like ice cream any more. It’s not the texture, but the flavor (even if it’s super chocolatey) just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’ve been trying for a couple of months taste testing. I know what your thinking… “this is a good thing! You’re diabetic you idiot you shouldn’t be eating that stuff anyway!” Well you’re right, but once in awhile I want to indulge. At first I thought it was allergies or I was getting a cold. Because you can’t taste crap when you start to get a cold, but that wasn’t it. Then my next conclusion was either:

A. My taste buds are changing

B. The increase in that one medication is changing things.

C. I burnt my taste buds one too many times on hot foods because I was super hungry and couldn’t wait.

D. All of the above

There can be a number of things why.

Tonight’s dinner will be a healthy one of baked salmon with lemon pepper seasoning and some steamed veggies. So it’s one step in the right direction.

A little lost…

I find myself struggling. I feel my training is what I absolutely need to do and yet I feel worn out, tired, sluggish, and deprived. I say deprived because I know I need to stop eating the bad foods and make better choices. I also feel deprived when I do not train and do the thing that I need to do. Sometimes you have to just make yourself get up and go, or if at all possible do something different. I want to try DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) again and see if I can substitute it for gym time. If I can get at least twenty to thirty minutes of DDR time in today that would be good. At least it’s something different and it is colorful and fun and I really love it. But, on the other hand I miss Ellie at the gym and I call the machine that because it is short for Elliptical. It is my favorite gym machine and I do not know what I would do without it. I need to get out of this funk and I know nothing is instantaneous. I have to keep working at it or I might be forced to use other methods like other medications that was suggested by my doctor. I hate pills, I hate medicine, and if I could get off all my current medication I would be a happy camper.

Music is good therapy for me and so is an hour or two of Minecraft. In Minecraft you have lulling calming music while doing monotonous tasks that either calm you or put you to sleep. It only puts me to sleep if I am tired and I had not gotten sleep previously. There are other ways to cope as well such as writing things down in a diary/journal. If you type personal stuff on a blog it does not have as much meaning/feeling of pouring all the bad/sad/whatever stuff out as physically writing it. Art is the next best thing to express oneself with whatever a person might be going through whether you are good or not. Art can be anything from drawing, sculpting, writing a story/poetry, coloring, cooking (it is in the presentation), and whatever you can make with your own hands and creativity. You can actually combine Minecraft and art by making pixel art with the blocks. I am not very good at pixel art in Minecraft, but a lot of people are and I just sit there in creative mode and play with the blocks and call it “Virtual Legos”. Which, I was not too good at the real thing as a kid. I was the kid that made lopsided houses and weird stuff.

Here’s hope to more positive outlook and thoughts! 🙂