I have been contemplating new hiking spots to walk by myself. I know you’re not suppose to go on hikes by yourself and that it’s dangerous, but I would like to go on small hikes by myself or at least on hikes where I know there is a lot of traffic of people. I would never go on a big hike completely by myself no matter how much I am inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s book. I admire her for what she did and making herself come to terms with her own demons and healing herself. But, I have to admit that hiking the PCT alone was the most asinine thing to do on the planet. Things were different back then in the mid’ nineties, but still a lot of things could have happened.
I tested my blood pressure last week here and there and I have come to the conclusion that it only raises due to stress. I don’t think I need medication for it if my blood pressure only rises due to stress. Therefore, I am going to practice meditation more seriously and hope for the best. I think I should have a better sleeping schedule and get more sleep and have a better diet. I’ve been a bit depressed on and off again for the past couple of weeks. This happens every few years around Valentine’s day. I’m usually ecstatic about celebrating Single’s Awareness Day (S.A.D.) because also the acronym makes me laugh. I am going to try and think more positively to counter the blues this year.
I’ve also started shortening my time with video games and only play on the weekends. The experiment so far is that I can’t wait to play to relax and then yet I found this week was still blah…
Then I ask myself questions of if I am growing out of it, losing my patience with them, or as I try to get healthier my mind and body want to do more productive things. Maybe it’s all of the above? Maybe it’s the depression’s fault. I want things to change. Things are changing. Things have to change. Change is constant.
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Fitness, Hiking, Uncategorized, Video Games
Tagged blogger, blogging, Blogs, blood pressure, change, Cheryl Strayed, depression, fitness, Health, hike, Hiking, medical, medicine, Meditation, PCT, positivity, Wild
So I finally made two connections to two things and figured out what was going on after trying to figure out what the cause was for my dizziness. What am I talking about?
Periodically and sporadically, I would get short three minute dizzy spells and on a rarer occasion they last five minutes. I decided to get my blood pressure checked not too long after a dizzy spell yesterday and it came out to 151/87 and they said it was a little high. I then checked it this morning and it was still slightly high…I remember I think it was 131/6…something?
I think my high blood pressure is anxiety/stress induced. I’ve been stressing out a lot these past….well since January.
So now I am in “Operation: Chill out and Calm the Frak down” mode and I also am dieting really hard to get my weight down. Because high blood pressure will go away when you lose weight and on the plus side my diabetes will get better. This past week I also had not had time to exercise so that part is my fault. There should be no excuses. It was and is very scary of this new discovery. I really, really, really do NOT want another medication put on me. I’m also thinking about my father and I’m starting to be like him (health wise) and it makes me more angry than scared.
I know my mom keeps telling me not to worry so much and not to worry about everything. It’s a lot like how you can’t tell a cancer patient to stop having cancer. It doesn’t work that way. Anxiety has to be worked through. You can’t just turn it off and on by sheer will or like a light switch.
I know I have many things to work on and maybe I’ll take it really seriously this time and not pull what my dad pulled and be good for three weeks so not to be put on insulin because he’s afraid of needles and then go back to the way you were and then die anyway.
I am not my father.
I’m still alive.
….I have a lot on my mind.
Posted in blogging, diabetes, Fitness, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, blood pressure, diabetes, diet, dizziness, doctors, fitness, gym, Health, healthy, high blood pressure, lifestyle, medical, rant, weight loss, weight loss journey
I have talked to many people and friends that have gotten weight loss surgery done. Most of my friends have gotten the sleeve done and I know my aunt an uncle years ago back in the late 80’s or early 90’s (I can not remember) got their stomachs stapled through surgery, lost the weight (mostly) and then gained it back. If I am going to decide to do this I do not want to shell out a 4,000 dollar co-pay from my insurance just for it not to work.
Now what I am about to write about does not apply to people who truly do need the surgery and cannot do it on their own. For example if people have a thyroid problem then yes it is a lot harder to lose weight and in some cases with those problems makes them gain weight. I am sure there are other physical challenges and reasons why, for some people, surgery maybe their only option.
For the rest of us, and yes I do mean us with me included need to get up off our butts and stop being lazy. Surgery is not a crutch of a fix, a quick fix, nor a fix all to patch up laziness which could simply be fixed by changing your diet. I pushed myself to go to the gym twice this week after work. Monday and yesterday I went and did my cardio on Monday and walked on the treadmill on Tuesday. But, I have been working hard for the past two weeks or so. I have lost ten pounds. My family and friends keep telling me that surgery will be the best thing for me, will be a good idea, and the famous “you SHOULD do it” reason! It’s now becoming like a cult/bandwagon thing and I do not know what scares me more is that so many people need/do it or that it looks like a fad/cult culture thing. Not only that, but there is a high rate of people gaining their weight back and/or have many complications. Every body’s body is different, but why put yourself through that and waste time, money, and energy? Plus when you lose weight that fast you’re going to have a lot of hanging loose skin. If you go to the gym and tone up with weights you will still have sagging skin, but not as bad. Then you will have to pay for surgery to get that removed and tucked in. If you tell your insurance it’s not for cosmetic reasons and trust me if you got weight loss surgery at 400 lbs. + there are tons of reasons why it is bad to leave it. Your skin could chaff, there could be bacteria getting in there, and all sorts of things. So that would be another high co-pay of whatever your insurance tells you once you’ve convinced them it is not cosmetic, but actual life saving loose skin removal. I just want to do a one time co-pay for loose skin removal not for both weight loss surgery and that.
I hate doctors and the thought of my stomach being cut into and drastically doing a force change in my life does not sound appealing. My doctor when I spoke with him said I would be perfect candidate. I am all for changing my diet and making smarter choices, but when I was speaking with one of my friends who had gotten the surgery and she lost almost 100 pounds with her surgery (she did the sleeve too) and told me she now cannot eat very much, but she cannot drink any liquids a half an hour before she eats and she has to wait a half an hour after she eats. That is not normal to me. Doctors and health professionals tell you to drink a glass of water before meals so that you’ll fill up more and become full faster. There are other things that do not agree with me that you have to do after surgery. I know I can do this on my own if I stop being lazy and take control of my life. No more stop and go diet and exercise routines because this should be a change of life for me. This should be my new lifestyle and change is apart of life.
Posted in blogging, diet, Fitness, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged bariatric surgery, better life, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, change, changing, doctors, eating healthy, exercise, fitness, gym, Health, health and fitness, healthy lifestyle, lap band, lap band surgery, Life, lifestyle, medical, nutrition, rant, sleeve surgery, surgery, weight, weight gain, weight loss, weight loss surgery
Sorry, I know I have not blogged in a long while. I had a small “depression and anxiety spell”. This sometimes happens when it gets closer to the date of when my father passed. I did manage not to completely stop going to the gym. I also got caught up with watching American Ninja Warrior again. I think I want to train for it again and what stopped me last time is I realized heights were actually involved on the show and I am afraid of heights. I want to overcome this fear by getting fit and trying my hand at Spelunking to conquer this fear.
I am afraid of a doctor’s appointment at the end of the month of July. It is not my regular doctor, but a podiatrist and I am not too happy that my regular doctor said since I am diabetic it is now mandatory to see a foot doctor. I’m afraid they will not be very nice and do things to my feet that might be scary and/or painful and I just do not want to go. In other news though I started writing my novel! Yay! Mom is editing the first chapter and I realized I should have double spaced it for easier editing. I am currently writing chapter three….
Yes I can count! Here’s the thing…while editing my mom said my first chapter was too long and broke it up into two. Hence, I need to start writing chapter three. I need to read more books for practice and I know my reading has slowed down, but I will get back on the horse so to speak. Back to the gym tomorrow morning as well. I keep forgetting I have training to do for my half marathon that I am suppose to be able to walk and complete September 2018. When things are really far away into the future I tend to forget about them. ^^;
Good news is I lost ten pounds. 🙂
- Bookshelf Life
- Gamer 4 Life
- Current Obsessions
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Doctor Visit, Fitness, gym, half marathon, Health, Summer, Training, Uncategorized, writing
Tagged American Ninja Warrior, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, Books, doctor, Doctor Visit, fitness, gym, half marathon, Health, Life, medical, ninja, ninja in training, ninja warrior in training, novel, podiatrist, training, weight loss, weight loss journey, writing
I have a follow up doctor’s appointment late this afternoon. I want to be cleared to go to the gym again. If I do get cleared it will be walking on the treadmill until I build back up that strength that I had. Even if it is as frustrating as it sounds starting over, but hopefully this means I can get back to where I was quickly.
In the reading department I had bought more books online. I could not help myself and even though I am not done with the Throne of Glass series I picked up a physical copy of Sarah J. Maas’ other series, “A Court of Thorns and Roses”. I also bought “Speak” and I started reading it a little bit because I could not wait and I realized that it has no chapters. So if I update my bookshelf life tab it will be in pages and I know I have a lot of books I am reading and that I have not finished. It was becoming too cluttered each month to list them all so I’ll just have to list books I am currently reading. These books can change each month if I decide to stop reading them for a month and read a few other different books. It is like a book buffet and I know a few reasons why it takes me so long to finish a book so that it seems like forever.
Why I can not finish a book quickly
- Life…. I’m fairly busy.
- I read at an average pace.
- If I read any faster I will not understand what I just read.
- Sometimes books have slow boring parts.
- I get distracted easily by other pretty books.
- Sometimes I get angry at the author.
- If I run into an emotional part in the book I have to take a break.
- I may not like the book, but I have OCD and have to finish it.
- I’m savoring it because it is a great read.
- I am too invested in the story to want to finish it. (i.e. last book/only book)
I know I need to be more diligent and find ways to get these books read faster to I can move onto more books and/or finish a series.
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Doctor Visit, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, book, Books, Books and Reading, Doctor Visit, Health, medical, read, Reader, Reading, reading is fun, Sarah J. Maas, training, words
Well, while being on break I was able to go to the gym twice. Then tomorrow morning I am going to do my run with my running partner. I got on the scale this morning and it was not pretty. Being on vacation sucks sometimes and you do not realize the damage you do until it is too late. I do not know if I mentioned this in a post before, but I did receive bad news last Saturday on the 8th. Before my test I learned a friend passed away and he had been battling brain cancer for a long time. I gathered my strength and took my test and the irony is that I did better in math than I did in reading. This is ironic because I am better in the language arts than I am in mathematics. I was just seven points away from passing my math. SEVEN!
If studying for a half an hour a week for two months gave me a fourteen point jump from my first scoring in November then I shall have to study harder. I am determined and I can do this to achieve my goals. This also applies to my weight loss journey. I hate calling it “my weight loss journey”. It sounds asinine and I have been depressed about it. I talked to my mother about getting weight loss surgery. I also talked to a friend who had got it done and she lost 87 pounds in six months. My mother thinks I can still do it on my own and I do not need the surgery. I have been trying to do it on my own ever since the sixth grade. I am so frustrated and I hate these diets or to be on a diet. You do not truly want something until you are told you can not have it. There are a lot of mixed feelings about getting weight loss surgery. I also do not want to have surgery only to just gain the weight back.
Sunday, I am cooking Easter dinner and having one of my uncles over for dinner along with mom and myself. Hopefully I will not over cook the turkey. I hope everyone else has a pleasant Easter and good blessings to all.
Posted in blogging, diet, Holidays, Uncategorized, Vacation
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, diet, easter, fitness, gym, Health, Holidays, medical, test, testing, weight, weight loss journey, weight loss surgery, weightloss
I went to see my doctor yesterday and I was more upset yesterday than today. This is because I learned that all my training I did for eight weeks felt like it was for nothing. My doctor was great and all, but I was disappointed at my body because apparently my AC1’s did not budge. They did not budge one bit to my rising feelings of chagrin. My AC1’s are 8.2 and I was not expecting to get back to the seven’s or anything, but at least for it to move one point. The doctor discussed with me about eating right going along with the exercise. I have to change my diet of what I eat. Exercise is only 10% of a healthy life and when trying to lose weight. While, eating is the other 90% is what my doctor was telling me about.
So, we talked about a lot of things and a lot of issues and my mood swings. I’m not going to divulge into the whole enchilada, but when your sugar does a roller coaster of highs and lows so does your moods. There is something else I got diagnosed with (nothing life threatening and I am not dying) and it contributes to that and a few other things. I guess I got a double whammy here and I am still processing it and thinking of a strategy for battle so to speak. I am not a spring chicken anymore, but I am not elderly or old and so I guess I can not do a lot of physical activity and eat whatever. Teens can do this and not change their diet and lose weight and sometimes young adults can do this. I have to re-chart my whole exercise routine and come up with a newer plan.
Posted in blogging, diet, Doctor Visit, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged AC1, diabetes, diabetic, doctor, doctors visit, exercise, food, Health, medical, physical activity, training, weight, weight loss, weight loss journey
I walked this one because like I said before that I am doing a 5K this Saturday. I am trying to save up energy. My muscles have been so sore and tired and if a nice hot shower and bath does not alleviate these aches and pains Saturday evening then I do not know what else will. There has to be other ways to relax the muscles with homeopathic ways instead of using prescriptions or over the counter drugs. I hate taking pills, but if I really got to take anything, like my diabetic medication I have no choice, then I will take them despite my loathing dislike of them. My legs want to kill me all ready and I just want to stay in bed. It seems that even though I went to bed early for the last two nights that it has been very hard to get up in the morning. I do not know how to combat this and the only thing I can do for now is hang in there until I see the doctor in a couple of weeks.
Posted in 5K race, blogging, C25K, Fitness, Health, Training, Uncategorized
Tagged 5k, 5K race, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, C25K, doctor, fitness, Health, Life, medical, muscles, run, Runner, runner blog, Runner in Training, running, training