I feel like my box is empty. That what I have done has not surmounted to anything and all the things I had done has now become inane and inert. I want to do more things, but I lack the fortitude and energy to do so. I want to buy a better digital camera. The one I currently have is circa 2003. It’s really old and I want a better one, but I don’t need a $3,000 camera. I want one with the pictures sharp and clear and the zoom is great where the pictures can stay sharp and clear. Also, maybe it can have a few knick knack features. Other than that I want to get into photography as a hobby for fun. I’ve been trying to live my life passionately, but I still find myself standing still…
So I finally made two connections to two things and figured out what was going on after trying to figure out what the cause was for my dizziness. What am I talking about?
Periodically and sporadically, I would get short three minute dizzy spells and on a rarer occasion they last five minutes. I decided to get my blood pressure checked not too long after a dizzy spell yesterday and it came out to 151/87 and they said it was a little high. I then checked it this morning and it was still slightly high…I remember I think it was 131/6…something?
I think my high blood pressure is anxiety/stress induced. I’ve been stressing out a lot these past….well since January.
So now I am in “Operation: Chill out and Calm the Frak down” mode and I also am dieting really hard to get my weight down. Because high blood pressure will go away when you lose weight and on the plus side my diabetes will get better. This past week I also had not had time to exercise so that part is my fault. There should be no excuses. It was and is very scary of this new discovery. I really, really, really do NOT want another medication put on me. I’m also thinking about my father and I’m starting to be like him (health wise) and it makes me more angry than scared.
I know my mom keeps telling me not to worry so much and not to worry about everything. It’s a lot like how you can’t tell a cancer patient to stop having cancer. It doesn’t work that way. Anxiety has to be worked through. You can’t just turn it off and on by sheer will or like a light switch.
I know I have many things to work on and maybe I’ll take it really seriously this time and not pull what my dad pulled and be good for three weeks so not to be put on insulin because he’s afraid of needles and then go back to the way you were and then die anyway.
I am not my father.
I’m still alive.
….I have a lot on my mind.
Posted in blogging, diabetes, Fitness, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, blood pressure, diabetes, diet, dizziness, doctors, fitness, gym, Health, healthy, high blood pressure, lifestyle, medical, rant, weight loss, weight loss journey
This past Saturday I went on a hiking trip up near Lake Mead on the Railroad trail. I went with a group of very awesome friends and we walked an hour in and then turned around and walked an hour back. I got a lot of dirt and rocks in my shoes and I had to stop to get them out occasionally. I packed stuff that I though I might need in my back pack for the trail. I almost felt like Cheryl Strayed and that I had Monster on my back. I felt it later in my upper back that I was sore. This will take awhile to heal and I can go to the gym and still get exercise, but playing Just Dance will have to wait until the weekend.
The Super Bowl was awesome! I went to my brother’s place and we were all rooting for the Eagles. This game has been the most interesting game in the last couple of years! There was some awesome plays too that were really exciting. 🙂
There was lots of food, rejoicing, cake, and fireworks. This weekend was really great. Also my books that I ordered came in and the covers felt wonderful and the smell of the them was phenomenal! I’m still waiting on one more book to be delivered. I got six new books…two of which I already own on my Kindle, but I love the series so much I am trying to collect them in paperback form. I’m up to “Heir of Fire” now with collecting and I got the “Assassin’s Blade” which is a prequel novella of lots of different stories of the main character from “The Glass Throne” by Sarah J. Maas.
Other than that the new list of books are as follows:
1. Clockwork Angel (The infernal Devices Series #1), by Cassandra Clare
2. Red Queen (Red Queen Series #1), by Victoria Aveyard
3. Anna Dressed in Blood, by Kendare Blake
4. The Girl of Fire and Thorns, by Rae Carson
I’m really excited to read these and I can’t wait! Although, I am going to wait until I have a mini vacation in a couple of weeks to read the Assassin’s Blade cause I heard it plays on the heart strings and I will need to prepare things just in case I wind up an emotional mess. ^^;
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, gym, Health, Hiking, Uncategorized, Vacation, writing
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, Books, Books and Reading, bookshelf update, Cassandra Clare, Cheryl Strayed, Eagles, exercise, fitness, go eagles, Heir of Fire, Hiking, hiking trails, inspiration, kindle, Life, lifestyle, monster, paperback, paperback books, Rae Carson, Reading, reading is fun, Sarah J. Maas, super bowl, super bowl party, The Glass Throne, The Glass Throne Series, trails, Victoria Aveyard
Do we diet to be healthy or to lose the pounds and look good? People can be vain and just want to exercise and diet to look good rather than consider their health. This could lead to many dangers though if one is not careful. I think diets are more successful if you think of them as lifestyle changes and to better your body and your health. Treat your body with love, respect, and like a temple. You can start by choosing the way you think every morning. If you change one thought a day and get more positive results by thinking positive that could lead a healthier mental state. I know easier said than done and those of you who suffer from bi polar, manic depressive disorder, or other disorders should probably talk to your doctor for a better course of action. I’m not a doctor so I can only make suggestions that could possibly work for some people. If I find the key to get better then surely it can work for others if I find it.
I have talked to many people and friends that have gotten weight loss surgery done. Most of my friends have gotten the sleeve done and I know my aunt an uncle years ago back in the late 80’s or early 90’s (I can not remember) got their stomachs stapled through surgery, lost the weight (mostly) and then gained it back. If I am going to decide to do this I do not want to shell out a 4,000 dollar co-pay from my insurance just for it not to work.
Now what I am about to write about does not apply to people who truly do need the surgery and cannot do it on their own. For example if people have a thyroid problem then yes it is a lot harder to lose weight and in some cases with those problems makes them gain weight. I am sure there are other physical challenges and reasons why, for some people, surgery maybe their only option.
For the rest of us, and yes I do mean us with me included need to get up off our butts and stop being lazy. Surgery is not a crutch of a fix, a quick fix, nor a fix all to patch up laziness which could simply be fixed by changing your diet. I pushed myself to go to the gym twice this week after work. Monday and yesterday I went and did my cardio on Monday and walked on the treadmill on Tuesday. But, I have been working hard for the past two weeks or so. I have lost ten pounds. My family and friends keep telling me that surgery will be the best thing for me, will be a good idea, and the famous “you SHOULD do it” reason! It’s now becoming like a cult/bandwagon thing and I do not know what scares me more is that so many people need/do it or that it looks like a fad/cult culture thing. Not only that, but there is a high rate of people gaining their weight back and/or have many complications. Every body’s body is different, but why put yourself through that and waste time, money, and energy? Plus when you lose weight that fast you’re going to have a lot of hanging loose skin. If you go to the gym and tone up with weights you will still have sagging skin, but not as bad. Then you will have to pay for surgery to get that removed and tucked in. If you tell your insurance it’s not for cosmetic reasons and trust me if you got weight loss surgery at 400 lbs. + there are tons of reasons why it is bad to leave it. Your skin could chaff, there could be bacteria getting in there, and all sorts of things. So that would be another high co-pay of whatever your insurance tells you once you’ve convinced them it is not cosmetic, but actual life saving loose skin removal. I just want to do a one time co-pay for loose skin removal not for both weight loss surgery and that.
I hate doctors and the thought of my stomach being cut into and drastically doing a force change in my life does not sound appealing. My doctor when I spoke with him said I would be perfect candidate. I am all for changing my diet and making smarter choices, but when I was speaking with one of my friends who had gotten the surgery and she lost almost 100 pounds with her surgery (she did the sleeve too) and told me she now cannot eat very much, but she cannot drink any liquids a half an hour before she eats and she has to wait a half an hour after she eats. That is not normal to me. Doctors and health professionals tell you to drink a glass of water before meals so that you’ll fill up more and become full faster. There are other things that do not agree with me that you have to do after surgery. I know I can do this on my own if I stop being lazy and take control of my life. No more stop and go diet and exercise routines because this should be a change of life for me. This should be my new lifestyle and change is apart of life.
Posted in blogging, diet, Fitness, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged bariatric surgery, better life, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, change, changing, doctors, eating healthy, exercise, fitness, gym, Health, health and fitness, healthy lifestyle, lap band, lap band surgery, Life, lifestyle, medical, nutrition, rant, sleeve surgery, surgery, weight, weight gain, weight loss, weight loss surgery
I saw my doctor after work yesterday and turns out my A1C (not AC1…apparently I am slightly dyslexic when I can’t sleep) actually did drop down! Not by much, but it’s better than the last three blood work appointments. The nurse was wrong and it was not 8.2 anymore, but 8.1! Finally! Like I said I’ll take what I can get right now and now at least all my hard work is finally starting to pay off. I also noticed while I go to the gym whether sporadically or on point like I am suppose to I’ve been getting my protein from eggs which keeps me from having the munchies and being hungry. One of my friends pointed out when one time last year when I started going to the gym again after not going that I couldn’t understand why I was so hungry. She explained I needed more protein and that would curb the hungry/munchies. I can’t always get my hands on chicken let alone fish because fish is more expensive. So eggs is the next best thing to get my hands on for protein. I realize other foods have protein too, but I love eggs better even though it’s not one of my favorite foods. Eggs are just the easiest thing for me to cook in the morning before work.
That’s where we are right now. I’ll keep everyone posted and it turns out this summer I did lose a total of ten pounds. I hope to keep this up and lower my blood sugar further. It’s a start….
Posted in blogging, diabetes, diet, Doctor Visit, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged A1C, blog, blogging, Blogs, blood glucose, Blood sugar, diabetes, doctor, Doctor Visit, glucose, gym, Health, health and fitness, journey, lifestyle, weight loss