I have been contemplating new hiking spots to walk by myself. I know you’re not suppose to go on hikes by yourself and that it’s dangerous, but I would like to go on small hikes by myself or at least on hikes where I know there is a lot of traffic of people. I would never go on a big hike completely by myself no matter how much I am inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s book. I admire her for what she did and making herself come to terms with her own demons and healing herself. But, I have to admit that hiking the PCT alone was the most asinine thing to do on the planet. Things were different back then in the mid’ nineties, but still a lot of things could have happened.
I tested my blood pressure last week here and there and I have come to the conclusion that it only raises due to stress. I don’t think I need medication for it if my blood pressure only rises due to stress. Therefore, I am going to practice meditation more seriously and hope for the best. I think I should have a better sleeping schedule and get more sleep and have a better diet. I’ve been a bit depressed on and off again for the past couple of weeks. This happens every few years around Valentine’s day. I’m usually ecstatic about celebrating Single’s Awareness Day (S.A.D.) because also the acronym makes me laugh. I am going to try and think more positively to counter the blues this year.
I’ve also started shortening my time with video games and only play on the weekends. The experiment so far is that I can’t wait to play to relax and then yet I found this week was still blah…
Then I ask myself questions of if I am growing out of it, losing my patience with them, or as I try to get healthier my mind and body want to do more productive things. Maybe it’s all of the above? Maybe it’s the depression’s fault. I want things to change. Things are changing. Things have to change. Change is constant.
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Fitness, Hiking, Uncategorized, Video Games
Tagged blogger, blogging, Blogs, blood pressure, change, Cheryl Strayed, depression, fitness, Health, hike, Hiking, medical, medicine, Meditation, PCT, positivity, Wild
So I finally made two connections to two things and figured out what was going on after trying to figure out what the cause was for my dizziness. What am I talking about?
Periodically and sporadically, I would get short three minute dizzy spells and on a rarer occasion they last five minutes. I decided to get my blood pressure checked not too long after a dizzy spell yesterday and it came out to 151/87 and they said it was a little high. I then checked it this morning and it was still slightly high…I remember I think it was 131/6…something?
I think my high blood pressure is anxiety/stress induced. I’ve been stressing out a lot these past….well since January.
So now I am in “Operation: Chill out and Calm the Frak down” mode and I also am dieting really hard to get my weight down. Because high blood pressure will go away when you lose weight and on the plus side my diabetes will get better. This past week I also had not had time to exercise so that part is my fault. There should be no excuses. It was and is very scary of this new discovery. I really, really, really do NOT want another medication put on me. I’m also thinking about my father and I’m starting to be like him (health wise) and it makes me more angry than scared.
I know my mom keeps telling me not to worry so much and not to worry about everything. It’s a lot like how you can’t tell a cancer patient to stop having cancer. It doesn’t work that way. Anxiety has to be worked through. You can’t just turn it off and on by sheer will or like a light switch.
I know I have many things to work on and maybe I’ll take it really seriously this time and not pull what my dad pulled and be good for three weeks so not to be put on insulin because he’s afraid of needles and then go back to the way you were and then die anyway.
I am not my father.
I’m still alive.
….I have a lot on my mind.
Posted in blogging, diabetes, Fitness, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, blood pressure, diabetes, diet, dizziness, doctors, fitness, gym, Health, healthy, high blood pressure, lifestyle, medical, rant, weight loss, weight loss journey