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I cheated.

Last night I was feeling frustrated and depressed about food (what I could not have and I possibly was going through withdrawal) and was about to cook a frozen pizza I had in the freezer. I only stock up or eat frozen pizza when money is tight and I can not order it. Yeah, so I have emergency pizza… ^^;

I also was taking a rest day from the gym…which does not help me in anyway of what I did.

Anyway, my mom said she wanted pizza (which is not often) and we wind up ordering out for the first time in a long while. She wound up with an Italian sub sandwich and some brownies for dessert. I wound up with a large sausage cheese pizza. I did not eat the whole thing. I could not eat the whole thing even if I wanted to. I got three slices in and started feeling full. When I was younger I could devour whole large pizzas by myself. As I got older that slowly started to change. My maximum pizza slice eating is usually nowadays five slices on a large, and six on a medium, and let us not talk about small sized pizzas.

I ate three slices last night and maybe around ten ounces of brownie. I really did not measure it. It was as big as my fist. I remember that much. I think my stomach shrunk some. The rest of the pizza is going to my work place for others to devour and finish. So, yes, it’s a minor set back, but are we not all entitled to one cheat meal at some point. One meal is not going to ruin everything. Just like one healthy meal is not going to fix everything.

So I am back on the horse today. So to speak… ^^

Is weight loss surgery the best thing?

I have talked to many people and friends that have gotten weight loss surgery done. Most of my friends have gotten the sleeve done and I know my aunt an uncle years ago back in the late 80’s or early 90’s (I can not remember) got their stomachs stapled through surgery, lost the weight (mostly) and then gained it back. If I am going to decide to do this I do not want to shell out a 4,000 dollar co-pay from my insurance just for it not to work.

Now what I am about to write about does not apply to people who truly do need the surgery and cannot do it on their own. For example if people have a thyroid problem then yes it is a lot harder to lose weight and in some cases with those problems makes them gain weight. I am sure there are other physical challenges and reasons why, for some people, surgery maybe their only option.

For the rest of us, and yes I do mean us with me included need to get up off our butts and stop being lazy. Surgery is not a crutch of a fix, a quick fix, nor a fix all to patch up laziness which could simply be fixed by changing your diet. I pushed myself to go to the gym twice this week after work. Monday and yesterday I went and did my cardio on Monday and walked on the treadmill on Tuesday. But, I have been working hard for the past two weeks or so. I have lost ten pounds. My family and friends keep telling me that surgery will be the best thing for me, will be a good idea, and the famous “you SHOULD do it” reason! It’s now becoming like a cult/bandwagon thing and I do not know what scares me more is that so many people need/do it or that it looks like a fad/cult culture thing. Not only that, but there is a high rate of people gaining their weight back and/or have many complications. Every body’s body is different, but why put yourself through that and waste time, money, and energy? Plus when you lose weight that fast you’re going to have a lot of hanging loose skin. If you go to the gym and tone up with weights you will still have sagging skin, but not as bad. Then you will have to pay for surgery to get that removed and tucked in. If you tell your insurance it’s not for cosmetic reasons and trust me if you got weight loss surgery at 400 lbs. + there are tons of reasons why it is bad to leave it. Your skin could chaff, there could be bacteria getting in there, and all sorts of things. So that would be another high co-pay of whatever your insurance tells you once you’ve convinced them it is not cosmetic, but actual life saving loose skin removal. I just want to do a one time co-pay for loose skin removal not for both weight loss surgery and that.

I hate doctors and the thought of my stomach being cut into and drastically doing a force change in my life does not sound appealing. My doctor when I spoke with him said I would be perfect candidate. I am all for changing my diet and making smarter choices, but when I was speaking with one of my friends who had gotten the surgery and she lost almost 100 pounds with her surgery (she did the sleeve too) and told me she now cannot eat very much, but she cannot drink any liquids a half an hour before she eats and she has to wait a half an hour after she eats. That is not normal to me. Doctors and health professionals tell you to drink a glass of water before meals so that you’ll fill up more and become full faster. There are other things that do not agree with me that you have to do after surgery. I know I can do this on my own if I stop being lazy and take control of my life. No more stop and go diet and exercise routines because this should be a change of life for me. This should be my new lifestyle and change is apart of life.

 

Then this happened…

I saw my doctor after work yesterday and turns out my A1C (not AC1…apparently I am slightly dyslexic when I can’t sleep) actually did drop down! Not by much, but it’s better than the last three blood work appointments. The nurse was wrong and it was not 8.2 anymore, but 8.1! Finally! Like I said I’ll take what I can get right now and now at least all my hard work is finally starting to pay off. I also noticed while I go to the gym whether sporadically or on point like I am suppose to I’ve been getting my protein from eggs which keeps me from having the munchies and being hungry. One of my friends pointed out when one time last year when I started going to the gym again after not going that I couldn’t understand why I was so hungry. She explained I needed more protein and that would curb the hungry/munchies. I can’t always get my hands on chicken let alone fish because fish is more expensive. So eggs is the next best thing to get my hands on for protein. I realize other foods have protein too, but I love eggs better even though it’s not one of my favorite foods. Eggs are just the easiest thing for me to cook in the morning before work.

That’s where we are right now. I’ll keep everyone posted and it turns out this summer I did lose a total of ten pounds. I hope to keep this up and lower my blood sugar further. It’s a start….

Back at the Gym

So I have been hitting the gym again as of late and I have dropped a few more pounds. I am down to 307 pounds. I am so close to getting under that 300 so badly I may be taking a few risks so I can get there and then I will diet as normal. I have a doctor’s appointment this Thursday and I visited the vampires today. I know my AC1 levels probably still did not drop, but I am going to give it one more shot before the next AC1 level blood glucose check. Then I will ask for a higher dose on one of my medications and actually pay the higher price because my insurance can be a jerk sometimes.

For those of you who do not know what AC1 levels are all I can explain it is when you are diabetic they take a snapshot of these levels every three to four months (no sooner or later) to keep a watch on your overall blood glucose (blood sugars) in your body. Yes, I still have to test my blood sugar twice a day to make sure I am not too low or too high. But, we need my AC1’s to lower so that I can be healthier. Normal AC1 levels are around 5.5 for normal people. When you get into the 6.0 and higher that’s when you get to the dangerous levels and you need to keep your sugar levels in your blood in check. Mine is 8.2 last time I had blood drawn. I hate taking medications, but if I have to I will and to change that or to add more medications makes me cringe and freak out because I do not like it. But, I digress if it still has not changed and does not change the next time I get my blood drawn in three months then I will ask about upping one of my medications that I take.

Now, if I lose the weight and get healthy and get my blood sugar levels to normal then I can do away with all my medication and live a somewhat normal non diabetic life. This means as explained to me by one of my physicians that he told me that I will always be diabetic…I just won’t have to take any medication. But! I still would have to keep checking my sugar levels just in case. So it is reversible…sort of. Your pancreas is like a car. If you run it into the ground, don’t take care of it, abuse the car it will be in pretty bad shape. You can start taking better care of that car, but it will never be the same as when you bought it brand new from the car store. You can fix it and it will live a healthy car life when you start taking better care of it and yet it will never be the same. You always have to check it to make sure it’s still in good condition. At least this is how that doctor explained it to me because I had told him I had doctors in the past tell me it’s completely reversible since I do not take insulin…yet (at that point in time and I haven’t gotten to that point…yet. thank goodness and I am trying not to.)

So there is your abridged crash course of Diabetes 101. If you have any questions about diabetes or blood sugar levels you can leave them in the comments below. Thank you for your time and patience in reading my blog!

Update V1.8 and other stuff…

Sorry, I know I have not blogged in a long while. I had a small “depression and anxiety spell”. This sometimes happens when it gets closer to the date of when my father passed. I did manage not to completely stop going to the gym. I also got caught up with watching American Ninja Warrior again. I think I want to train for it again and what stopped me last time is I realized heights were actually involved on the show and I am afraid of heights. I want to overcome this fear by getting fit and trying my hand at Spelunking to conquer this fear.

I am afraid of a doctor’s appointment at the end of the month of July. It is not my regular doctor, but a podiatrist and I am not too happy that my regular doctor said since I am diabetic it is now mandatory to see a foot doctor. I’m afraid they will not be very nice and do things to my feet that might be scary and/or painful and I just do not want to go. In other news though I started writing my novel! Yay! Mom is editing the first chapter and I realized I should have double spaced it for easier editing. I am currently writing chapter three….

Yes I can count! Here’s the thing…while editing my mom said my first chapter was too long and broke it up into two. Hence, I need to start writing chapter three. I need to read more books for practice and I know my reading has slowed down, but I will get back on the horse so to speak. Back to the gym tomorrow morning as well. I keep forgetting I have training to do for my half marathon that I am suppose to be able to walk and complete September 2018. When things are really far away into the future I tend to forget about them. ^^;

Good news is I lost ten pounds. 🙂

Updates:

  • Bookshelf Life
  • Gamer 4 Life
  • Training
  • Current Obsessions

 

 

Summer Gym Boot Camp Plans

My running partner and I have decided that things are really busy right now so we are trying to do our own thing. But, starting in June we are going to the gym in the mornings five days a week then do our running on Saturday mornings. If it is even too hot on Saturday early mornings then we will just head for the gym again. I’m putting myself on a better diet. I am also replacing my favorite staple of mashed potatoes with mashed cauliflower to cut down on the carbs. I got to get ready for that half marathon next year in September.

I would also like to apologize for not blogging more frequently like I have. I do not want my blog to be solely about my health journey, but other things like my other hobbies. I want to review films, books I have finished reading, and maybe game reviews. I could also talk about other things as well and maybe get more into cooking so I can update my recipe tab on here. I will be able to write more these coming summer months. 🙂

Recovering

I have a follow up doctor’s appointment late this afternoon. I want to be cleared to go to the gym again. If I do get cleared it will be walking on the treadmill until I build back up that strength that I had. Even if it is as frustrating as it sounds starting over, but hopefully this means I can get back to where I was quickly.

In the reading department I had bought more books online. I could not help myself and even though I am not done with the Throne of Glass series I picked up a physical copy of Sarah J. Maas’ other series, “A Court of Thorns and Roses”. I also bought “Speak” and I started reading it a little bit because I could not wait and I realized that it has no chapters. So if I update my bookshelf life tab it will be in pages and I know I have a lot of books I am reading and that I have not finished. It was becoming too cluttered each month to list them all so I’ll just have to list books I am currently reading. These books can change each month if I decide to stop reading them for a month and read a few other different books. It is like a book buffet and I know a few reasons why it takes me so long to finish a book so that it seems like forever.

Why I can not finish a book quickly

  1. Life…. I’m fairly busy.
  2. I read at an average pace.
  3. If I read any faster I will not understand what I just read.
  4. Sometimes books have slow boring parts.
  5. I get distracted easily by other pretty books.
  6. Sometimes I get angry at the author.
  7. If I run into an emotional part in the book I have to take a break.
  8. I may not like the book, but I have OCD and have to finish it.
  9. I’m savoring it because it is a great read.
  10. I am too invested in the story to want to finish it. (i.e. last book/only book)

I know I need to be more diligent and find ways to get these books read faster to I can move onto more books and/or finish a series.

UPDATE V1.4

Bookshelf Life

Gamer 4 Life

Burned like burnt bacon

I took a trip with a friend out to a county fair and we put on SPF 50 sunscreen. We did not have a mirror, but I did the best I could. I got burned on the top of my head (should have worn a hat), my right shoulder and shoulder blade (this was due to my shirt moving because of my purse strap), and I think I got sun poisoning from the heat. I’ve been very tired and drinking a lot of water. I had to return to work because I had just been on vacation. Also, one other health thing happened…again…for the third time this month when it’s only suppose to happen once a month. So getting to the gym maybe hard this week, but if not today I am going to go tomorrow and walk on the treadmill. It’s at least something instead of nothing.

Happy Easter!

Well, while being on break I was able to go to the gym twice. Then tomorrow morning I am going to do my run with my running partner. I got on the scale this morning and it was not pretty. Being on vacation sucks sometimes and you do not realize the damage you do until it is too late. I do not know if I mentioned this in a post before, but I did receive bad news last Saturday on the 8th. Before my test I learned a friend passed away and he had been battling brain cancer for a long time. I gathered my strength and took my test and the irony is that I did better in math than I did in reading. This is ironic because I am better in the language arts than I am in mathematics. I was just seven points away from passing my math. SEVEN!

If studying for a half an hour a week for two months gave me a fourteen point jump from my first scoring in November then I shall have to study harder. I am determined and I can do this to achieve my goals. This also applies to my weight loss journey. I hate calling it “my weight loss journey”. It sounds asinine and I have been depressed about it. I talked to my mother about getting weight loss surgery. I also talked to a friend who had got it done and she lost 87 pounds in six months. My mother thinks I can still do it on my own and I do not need the surgery. I have been trying to do it on my own ever since the sixth grade. I am so frustrated and I hate these diets or to be on a diet. You do not truly want something until you are told you can not have it. There are a lot of mixed feelings about getting weight loss surgery. I also do not want to have surgery only to just gain the weight back.

Sunday, I am cooking Easter dinner and having one of my uncles over for dinner along with mom and myself. Hopefully I will not over cook the turkey. I hope everyone else has a pleasant Easter and good blessings to all.