I’ve been trying to get excited for the holidays and forcing happiness is never good. Maybe I’m not excited about Thanksgiving this year. I might be a little excited for Christmas this year because I want to put up all the pretty lights and stuff. I have forgone putting up a Christmas tree for the last few years because of cats. I have two cats and they are very mischievous. I don’t want them to eat the tree or knock it down and hit something or someone. But, this year I have a plan that should stop them from going anywhere near the tree.
The holidays have always been difficult for me even if it didn’t show as much or at all when I was a kid so no one ever knew. I was always distracted by the lights and shiny things. I always also felt that I HAD to do things like give friends and family presents, smile and be happy just because it’s Christmas time, sing carols, and be apart of the holiday activities. I felt like I didn’t have a say I was just told to do these things without choosing to do them on my own. Even if it wasn’t my parents telling me to participate then I involuntary participated on my own, or smiled because I didn’t want to be ostracized from my classmates or peers. Christmas to me has always been a pain in the ass. I never understood the whole over commercialized holiday where capitalism is celebrated on a holy day meant for a fictional baby that was born in a manger.
I just think differently and I do respect other people’s faith. Whatever you believe in keep doing that. Whatever gets you through the day and helps you out that’s great. It just isn’t for me.
The holidays should be meant for keeping families together and spending time and not about material things or anything else for that matter.
I’m really trying this year to be excited and happy about Christmas and I’m going to cross my fingers that my cats don’t knock down the tree when I put it up, or I will lose my last shred of holiday cheer and then no more trees. My plan will work though and I’m feeling positive about it. So good luck to everyone out there who have a cat or cats and are putting up trees this year. Be careful not to use tinsel because cats love to eat that stuff and they will get sick! …that and you’ll have to clean shiny poop out of the litter box.
Posted in blogging, Holidays, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, Cats, celebrate, celebration, celebrations, Christmas, Christmas Tree, holiday cats, Holidays, religion
As newer games come out that I am interested in and/or eager to play my back log becomes bigger and bigger. Some games I quit because I either got frustrated, bored, or sensory overload by the other shiny games. When you think you’ve hit your limit another new shiny game comes out. I have also a collecting habit. If I have the first part or two parts and another sequel or prequel comes out then I buy it even if I haven’t finished any of the other games. This is also true with my books. Because it’s a set and they are a family and must be together. lolz XD
Anyway, I think I am going to start slowing down and also put my foot down and only buy games from series that I enjoy and know from now on. Also, I will not buy the next game in a string of games if I haven’t finished the first one or first few. I need to pick a game and stick with it? I also want to cut my gaming time down to have time to do other hobbies in my free time and possibly get other stuff done.
I started back at the gym last week so yay for me! ^^;
Also, the changed meds the doctor prescribed kinda made me sick so I went back to taking that one pill once a day after I eat.
I want to drop fifteen pounds before the ren fair that is coming up. Wish me luck!
Posted in blogging, gym, Health, Uncategorized, Video Games
Tagged blog, blogging, Blogs, gaming, gym, Health, personal blog, Video Games
Has anyone ever read and/or enjoyed the Chicken Noodle Soup books? I have a few of them that I can count on my hand. Right now I currently picked up off my book shelf is “Chicken Noodle Soup for the Ocean Lover’s Soul” and I am enjoying it more than the other ones I have bought. I feel that the ocean can teach us a lot of things and that it is wise and ancient. These stories fit right in with my love for the ocean and its creatures.
I’ve also been reading “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed on my phone through the kindle app. I feel like with her writing I am on the PCT right along with her. Maybe while doing Laundry on Sundays I should just pretend I’m at a Laundry mat and I have to spend all day out there and the only comfort is reading. Then maybe I can get more reading done. You know, tune out the noise of everything and meditate and relax. It’s not like it’s really noisy where I live, but it’s hard to get into that peaceful meditative state. I should practice that more so I can calm my mind and my soul. If it’s not outside noise then it’s too noisy in my head. No one worry I don’t hear voices or anything like that. My brain is always active especially when my anxiety is high or if I am stressing or both.
Everyone should try practicing meditation and take twenty minutes out of their day to have some me time.
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, Blogs, Books, Books and Reading, Chicken Noodle Soup books, Meditation, read, Reading, reading is fun, writing
My leg is healing nicely and it is also starting to itch a bit today. My mom says that means it’s healing. I should head to the gym tomorrow because the wound shouldn’t open up or anything. I’ll check the bandage tomorrow after I’ve changed it.
I’ve also updated Midnight Raven tab, Gamer 4 Life tab, and possibly others so check it out. 🙂
I’ve also started writing more and hopefully getting to my art more. I have to bake cookies after work today for a thing on Wednesday. They will be Mario star cookies. ^^;
I had eggs for breakfast this morning and I want so many things and make it happen, but then things happen and then it’s just all over the place. I think I will have liquid for lunch and dinner today.
Posted in blogging, Health, Uncategorized, writing
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, eggs, healing, liquid diet, update, writer, writes
I am frustrated with myself for setting a ten book reading goal for the year. I am a reader and I love to read, but life gets busy, and then there is the whole pesky book ADHD. So I could be reading a lot and yet I am reading three to five different books simultaneously in a month. Hence, I do not get a novel read and finished so I can complete my reading goal. A co-worker told me it can be done if I play less games and read more. That may be true, but it is not like I can’t put a controller down to go read. The reason is games take longer to finish than books and when your interested or having fun then time passes without you noticing and the next thing you know it’s time for bed so you can get up for work in the morning…. okay that was a long winded sentence…
I tried making an organized stable schedule so I can equally do all my hobbies, but then things fall out of sync like they always do and then it’s hard to get back to the schedule you set in the first place. I am not making excuses…maybe complaining a little, but maybe if I tried harder and had more will power? I know this can be done and once you do something over and over again for a month it sticks as a habit.
The current book I am reading is the third in the Fallen series. The title is “Passion” from Lauren Kate. I admit the ending to the second book, Torment, was really good and I started reading Passion and it’s a bit more involved and interesting. You know when there are four or more books in the series that the first book and maybe the second book is going to be drawn out with the plot because the author has to set things up, or is still setting things up and that could be hard to read through. Because if the plot moves so slowly it makes irritated because I’m waiting for things to be revealed. Hopefully I can if I push myself that I can still make that ten novel goal for this year. I have four books done all ready.
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Uncategorized, Video Games
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, book, Books, Fallen, Fallen Series, gamer, gaming, Lauren Kate, library, Life, Passion, read, Reading, Torment, Video Games
Last night I was feeling frustrated and depressed about food (what I could not have and I possibly was going through withdrawal) and was about to cook a frozen pizza I had in the freezer. I only stock up or eat frozen pizza when money is tight and I can not order it. Yeah, so I have emergency pizza… ^^;
I also was taking a rest day from the gym…which does not help me in anyway of what I did.
Anyway, my mom said she wanted pizza (which is not often) and we wind up ordering out for the first time in a long while. She wound up with an Italian sub sandwich and some brownies for dessert. I wound up with a large sausage cheese pizza. I did not eat the whole thing. I could not eat the whole thing even if I wanted to. I got three slices in and started feeling full. When I was younger I could devour whole large pizzas by myself. As I got older that slowly started to change. My maximum pizza slice eating is usually nowadays five slices on a large, and six on a medium, and let us not talk about small sized pizzas.
I ate three slices last night and maybe around ten ounces of brownie. I really did not measure it. It was as big as my fist. I remember that much. I think my stomach shrunk some. The rest of the pizza is going to my work place for others to devour and finish. So, yes, it’s a minor set back, but are we not all entitled to one cheat meal at some point. One meal is not going to ruin everything. Just like one healthy meal is not going to fix everything.
So I am back on the horse today. So to speak… ^^
Posted in blogging, diet, Uncategorized
Tagged blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, diet, eat, eating, exercise, fitness, food, gym, Pizza, weight, weight loss
I have talked to many people and friends that have gotten weight loss surgery done. Most of my friends have gotten the sleeve done and I know my aunt an uncle years ago back in the late 80’s or early 90’s (I can not remember) got their stomachs stapled through surgery, lost the weight (mostly) and then gained it back. If I am going to decide to do this I do not want to shell out a 4,000 dollar co-pay from my insurance just for it not to work.
Now what I am about to write about does not apply to people who truly do need the surgery and cannot do it on their own. For example if people have a thyroid problem then yes it is a lot harder to lose weight and in some cases with those problems makes them gain weight. I am sure there are other physical challenges and reasons why, for some people, surgery maybe their only option.
For the rest of us, and yes I do mean us with me included need to get up off our butts and stop being lazy. Surgery is not a crutch of a fix, a quick fix, nor a fix all to patch up laziness which could simply be fixed by changing your diet. I pushed myself to go to the gym twice this week after work. Monday and yesterday I went and did my cardio on Monday and walked on the treadmill on Tuesday. But, I have been working hard for the past two weeks or so. I have lost ten pounds. My family and friends keep telling me that surgery will be the best thing for me, will be a good idea, and the famous “you SHOULD do it” reason! It’s now becoming like a cult/bandwagon thing and I do not know what scares me more is that so many people need/do it or that it looks like a fad/cult culture thing. Not only that, but there is a high rate of people gaining their weight back and/or have many complications. Every body’s body is different, but why put yourself through that and waste time, money, and energy? Plus when you lose weight that fast you’re going to have a lot of hanging loose skin. If you go to the gym and tone up with weights you will still have sagging skin, but not as bad. Then you will have to pay for surgery to get that removed and tucked in. If you tell your insurance it’s not for cosmetic reasons and trust me if you got weight loss surgery at 400 lbs. + there are tons of reasons why it is bad to leave it. Your skin could chaff, there could be bacteria getting in there, and all sorts of things. So that would be another high co-pay of whatever your insurance tells you once you’ve convinced them it is not cosmetic, but actual life saving loose skin removal. I just want to do a one time co-pay for loose skin removal not for both weight loss surgery and that.
I hate doctors and the thought of my stomach being cut into and drastically doing a force change in my life does not sound appealing. My doctor when I spoke with him said I would be perfect candidate. I am all for changing my diet and making smarter choices, but when I was speaking with one of my friends who had gotten the surgery and she lost almost 100 pounds with her surgery (she did the sleeve too) and told me she now cannot eat very much, but she cannot drink any liquids a half an hour before she eats and she has to wait a half an hour after she eats. That is not normal to me. Doctors and health professionals tell you to drink a glass of water before meals so that you’ll fill up more and become full faster. There are other things that do not agree with me that you have to do after surgery. I know I can do this on my own if I stop being lazy and take control of my life. No more stop and go diet and exercise routines because this should be a change of life for me. This should be my new lifestyle and change is apart of life.
Posted in blogging, diet, Fitness, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged bariatric surgery, better life, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, change, changing, doctors, eating healthy, exercise, fitness, gym, Health, health and fitness, healthy lifestyle, lap band, lap band surgery, Life, lifestyle, medical, nutrition, rant, sleeve surgery, surgery, weight, weight gain, weight loss, weight loss surgery
I saw my doctor after work yesterday and turns out my A1C (not AC1…apparently I am slightly dyslexic when I can’t sleep) actually did drop down! Not by much, but it’s better than the last three blood work appointments. The nurse was wrong and it was not 8.2 anymore, but 8.1! Finally! Like I said I’ll take what I can get right now and now at least all my hard work is finally starting to pay off. I also noticed while I go to the gym whether sporadically or on point like I am suppose to I’ve been getting my protein from eggs which keeps me from having the munchies and being hungry. One of my friends pointed out when one time last year when I started going to the gym again after not going that I couldn’t understand why I was so hungry. She explained I needed more protein and that would curb the hungry/munchies. I can’t always get my hands on chicken let alone fish because fish is more expensive. So eggs is the next best thing to get my hands on for protein. I realize other foods have protein too, but I love eggs better even though it’s not one of my favorite foods. Eggs are just the easiest thing for me to cook in the morning before work.
That’s where we are right now. I’ll keep everyone posted and it turns out this summer I did lose a total of ten pounds. I hope to keep this up and lower my blood sugar further. It’s a start….
Posted in blogging, diabetes, diet, Doctor Visit, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged A1C, blog, blogging, Blogs, blood glucose, Blood sugar, diabetes, doctor, Doctor Visit, glucose, gym, Health, health and fitness, journey, lifestyle, weight loss
So I have been hitting the gym again as of late and I have dropped a few more pounds. I am down to 307 pounds. I am so close to getting under that 300 so badly I may be taking a few risks so I can get there and then I will diet as normal. I have a doctor’s appointment this Thursday and I visited the vampires today. I know my AC1 levels probably still did not drop, but I am going to give it one more shot before the next AC1 level blood glucose check. Then I will ask for a higher dose on one of my medications and actually pay the higher price because my insurance can be a jerk sometimes.
For those of you who do not know what AC1 levels are all I can explain it is when you are diabetic they take a snapshot of these levels every three to four months (no sooner or later) to keep a watch on your overall blood glucose (blood sugars) in your body. Yes, I still have to test my blood sugar twice a day to make sure I am not too low or too high. But, we need my AC1’s to lower so that I can be healthier. Normal AC1 levels are around 5.5 for normal people. When you get into the 6.0 and higher that’s when you get to the dangerous levels and you need to keep your sugar levels in your blood in check. Mine is 8.2 last time I had blood drawn. I hate taking medications, but if I have to I will and to change that or to add more medications makes me cringe and freak out because I do not like it. But, I digress if it still has not changed and does not change the next time I get my blood drawn in three months then I will ask about upping one of my medications that I take.
Now, if I lose the weight and get healthy and get my blood sugar levels to normal then I can do away with all my medication and live a somewhat normal non diabetic life. This means as explained to me by one of my physicians that he told me that I will always be diabetic…I just won’t have to take any medication. But! I still would have to keep checking my sugar levels just in case. So it is reversible…sort of. Your pancreas is like a car. If you run it into the ground, don’t take care of it, abuse the car it will be in pretty bad shape. You can start taking better care of that car, but it will never be the same as when you bought it brand new from the car store. You can fix it and it will live a healthy car life when you start taking better care of it and yet it will never be the same. You always have to check it to make sure it’s still in good condition. At least this is how that doctor explained it to me because I had told him I had doctors in the past tell me it’s completely reversible since I do not take insulin…yet (at that point in time and I haven’t gotten to that point…yet. thank goodness and I am trying not to.)
So there is your abridged crash course of Diabetes 101. If you have any questions about diabetes or blood sugar levels you can leave them in the comments below. Thank you for your time and patience in reading my blog!
Posted in blogging, diabetes, diet, Doctor Visit, gym, Health, Uncategorized
Tagged AC1, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, Blood sugar, diabetes, diabetic, doctor, fitness, gym, gymrat, Health, health and fitness, healthy, personal blog, sugar, weight loss, weight loss journey
Sorry, I know I have not blogged in a long while. I had a small “depression and anxiety spell”. This sometimes happens when it gets closer to the date of when my father passed. I did manage not to completely stop going to the gym. I also got caught up with watching American Ninja Warrior again. I think I want to train for it again and what stopped me last time is I realized heights were actually involved on the show and I am afraid of heights. I want to overcome this fear by getting fit and trying my hand at Spelunking to conquer this fear.
I am afraid of a doctor’s appointment at the end of the month of July. It is not my regular doctor, but a podiatrist and I am not too happy that my regular doctor said since I am diabetic it is now mandatory to see a foot doctor. I’m afraid they will not be very nice and do things to my feet that might be scary and/or painful and I just do not want to go. In other news though I started writing my novel! Yay! Mom is editing the first chapter and I realized I should have double spaced it for easier editing. I am currently writing chapter three….
Yes I can count! Here’s the thing…while editing my mom said my first chapter was too long and broke it up into two. Hence, I need to start writing chapter three. I need to read more books for practice and I know my reading has slowed down, but I will get back on the horse so to speak. Back to the gym tomorrow morning as well. I keep forgetting I have training to do for my half marathon that I am suppose to be able to walk and complete September 2018. When things are really far away into the future I tend to forget about them. ^^;
Good news is I lost ten pounds. 🙂
- Bookshelf Life
- Gamer 4 Life
- Current Obsessions
Posted in blogging, Books and Reading, Doctor Visit, Fitness, gym, half marathon, Health, Summer, Training, Uncategorized, writing
Tagged American Ninja Warrior, blog, blogger, blogging, Blogs, Books, doctor, Doctor Visit, fitness, gym, half marathon, Health, Life, medical, ninja, ninja in training, ninja warrior in training, novel, podiatrist, training, weight loss, weight loss journey, writing