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Holiday Happiness?

I’ve been trying to get excited for the holidays and forcing happiness is never good. Maybe I’m not excited about Thanksgiving this year. I might be a little excited for Christmas this year because I want to put up all the pretty lights and stuff. I have forgone putting up a Christmas tree for the last few years because of cats. I have two cats and they are very mischievous. I don’t want them to eat the tree or knock it down and hit something or someone. But, this year I have a plan that should stop them from going anywhere near the tree.

The holidays have always been difficult for me even if it didn’t show as much or at all when I was a kid so no one ever knew. I was always distracted by the lights and shiny things. I always also felt that I HAD to do things like give friends and family presents, smile and be happy just because it’s Christmas time, sing carols, and be apart of the holiday activities. I felt like I didn’t have a say I was just told to do these things without choosing to do them on my own. Even if it wasn’t my parents telling me to participate then I involuntary participated on my own, or smiled because I didn’t want to be ostracized from my classmates or peers. Christmas to me has always been a pain in the ass. I never understood the whole over commercialized holiday where capitalism is celebrated on a holy day meant for a fictional baby that was born in a manger.

No offense.

I just think differently and I do respect other people’s faith. Whatever you believe in keep doing that. Whatever gets you through the day and helps you out that’s great. It just isn’t for me.

The holidays should be meant for keeping families together and spending time and not about material things or anything else for that matter.

I’m really trying this year to be excited and happy about Christmas and I’m going to cross my fingers that my cats don’t knock down the tree when I put it up, or I will lose my last shred of holiday cheer and then no more trees. My plan will work though and I’m feeling positive about it. So good luck to everyone out there who have a cat or cats and are putting up trees this year. Be careful not to use tinsel because cats love to eat that stuff and they will get sick! …that and you’ll have to clean shiny poop out of the litter box.

Another update!

I ran out of subject lines…

Anyway, now that the weather is getting cooler it means that I can go outside to train. I also decided to give taking that one medicine twice a day another shot. This time though I won’t be eating a lot of junk because I think that led to me living in the bathroom. Well this medicine does make you GO, but amplifying that while eating junk food is NOT a good idea. I need to lower my blood sugar and I really want to do better and I keep forgetting that I really, really, really, really want to fit into a nice dress for my brother’s wedding. I am also trying to lose 12-14 pounds before the 18th of this month and if not  at least inches so I can fit into my jeans to do a cosplay for a thing that weekend. So far since Sunday I lost three pounds of what I was, but I know that’s mostly water weight because I recently was having female issues.

It’s back to the gym for me today and I need to really stop drinking diet soda. I know the bad things it can do, but I did some more updated research today and I was horrified. Aspartame can poison you so much and seriously no human should drink soda. ever.

Once in a blue moon maybe, but not everyday or week. Regular soda has it’s bad side too, but diet soda is worse. I need to free myself from my addiction to Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry.

In another development I seem to not like ice cream any more. It’s not the texture, but the flavor (even if it’s super chocolatey) just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’ve been trying for a couple of months taste testing. I know what your thinking… “this is a good thing! You’re diabetic you idiot you shouldn’t be eating that stuff anyway!” Well you’re right, but once in awhile I want to indulge. At first I thought it was allergies or I was getting a cold. Because you can’t taste crap when you start to get a cold, but that wasn’t it. Then my next conclusion was either:

A. My taste buds are changing

B. The increase in that one medication is changing things.

C. I burnt my taste buds one too many times on hot foods because I was super hungry and couldn’t wait.

D. All of the above

There can be a number of things why.

Tonight’s dinner will be a healthy one of baked salmon with lemon pepper seasoning and some steamed veggies. So it’s one step in the right direction.

It’s almost Halloween time…

Tomorrow is Halloween and I have the pleasure of doling out sugary treats among the masses to little humans dressed up as imaginary and fictitious characters. Hopefully I myself do not slip into a sugary coma myself because a diabetic coma would not be good. After Halloween I want to lose 11 pounds by November 18th and I think I can do that. I’m all gung ho about this because I need to fit into my old pair of jeans for a cosplay for a convention that weekend.

Anyway, the bigger plan for Halloween night is to also watch scary thrillers and Halloween themed movies while gorging on air popped popcorn drizzled in melted butter. I learned my lesson last year not to be pre-occupied by gaming because it was a hassle to keep getting up and down from my game cave to the front door. This wasn’t a physical challenge as it was more a hearing challenge. I couldn’t hear the door bell from my game cave. I want to dress up as something when I answer the door, but I figure I don’t want to because I am lazy. If I was going to a Halloween party then that is a different story.

I hope everyone’s Halloween night is fun and exciting. Make sure to make smart choices and be safe.

Lost three pounds!

I lost three pounds this past week because I walked three times around a park for a thing. I was in garb and sprayed myself a lot with anti-sun lotion spray and still managed to get burned. I was a crispy critter spliced with being cooked like eggs and bacon. I think my brain is still over done. I want bacon now…

I also learned that day that I bought one fairground food and it was the cinnamon and sugar covered almonds. I only had eight almonds and my sugar sky rocketed, but thanks to all that walking it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. But, now I have to give up my nuts at fair now…  TT__TT

I lost my track of thought.

…Bacon.

Th bacon calls to me. Oh yeah the sun tried to kill me, but I still have a pulse. My brain might have taken a hit though.

I’m seriously considering getting myself some bacon after work today. Because bacon is awesome and we should make a bacon based religion because that would be cool.

HUZZAH!

 

I’m so tired.

 

 

 

 

Tragedy in Las Vegas…

My heart goes out to friends and family who either lost their life or knows someone who lost their life. This is beyond tragedy and is literally incomprehensible. My mind cannot wrap around it. I am safe and I have been making texts and stuff to make sure others are okay. The massive shooting…this act of violence…why is there so much violence in the world?

Other things have happened in my personal life and now this happens. It’s as if 2017 is really piling it on thick. I pray all the victims and survivors find peace and blessed be to all.

Gaming Back log and overwhelmed

As newer games come out that I am interested in and/or eager to play my back log becomes bigger and bigger. Some games I quit because I either got frustrated, bored, or sensory overload by the other shiny games. When you think you’ve hit your limit another new shiny game comes out. I have also a collecting habit. If I have the first part or two parts and another sequel or prequel comes out then I buy it even if I haven’t finished any of the other games. This is also true with my books. Because it’s a set and they are a family and must be together. lolz XD

Anyway, I think I am going to start slowing down and also put my foot down and only buy games from series that I enjoy and know from now on. Also, I will not buy the next game in a string of games if I haven’t finished the first one or first few. I need to pick a game and stick with it? I also want to cut my gaming time down to have time to do other hobbies in my free time and possibly get other stuff done.

I started back at the gym last week so yay for me! ^^;

Also, the changed meds the doctor prescribed kinda made me sick so I went back to taking that one pill once a day after I eat.

I want to drop fifteen pounds before the ren fair that is coming up. Wish me luck!

 

Books and Reading

Has anyone ever read and/or enjoyed the Chicken Noodle Soup books? I have a few of them that I can count on my hand. Right now I currently picked up off my book shelf is “Chicken Noodle Soup for the Ocean Lover’s Soul” and I am enjoying it more than the other ones I have bought. I feel that the ocean can teach us a lot of things and that it is wise and ancient. These stories fit right in with my love for the ocean and its creatures.

I’ve also been reading “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed on my phone through the kindle app. I feel like with her writing I am on the PCT right along with her. Maybe while doing Laundry on Sundays I should just pretend I’m at a Laundry mat and I have to spend all day out there and the only comfort is reading. Then maybe I can get more reading done. You know, tune out the noise of everything and meditate and relax. It’s not like it’s really noisy where I live, but it’s hard to get into that peaceful meditative state. I should practice that more so I can calm my mind and my soul. If it’s not outside noise then it’s too noisy in my head. No one worry I don’t hear voices or anything like that. My brain is always active especially when my anxiety is high or if I am stressing or both.

Everyone should try practicing meditation and take twenty minutes out of their day to have some me time.

Healing and quick update

My leg is healing nicely and it is also starting to itch a bit today. My mom says that means it’s healing. I should head to the gym tomorrow because the wound shouldn’t open up or anything. I’ll check the bandage tomorrow after I’ve changed it.

I’ve also updated Midnight Raven tab, Gamer 4 Life tab, and possibly others so check it out. 🙂

I’ve also started writing more and hopefully getting to my art more. I have to bake cookies after work today for a thing on Wednesday. They will be Mario star cookies. ^^;

I had eggs for breakfast this morning and I want so many things and make it happen, but then things happen and then it’s just all over the place. I think I will have liquid for lunch and dinner today.

Books and Games

I am frustrated with myself for setting a ten book reading goal for the year. I am a reader and I love to read, but life gets busy, and then there is the whole pesky book ADHD. So I could be reading a lot and yet I am reading three to five different books simultaneously in a month. Hence, I do not get a novel read and finished so I can complete my reading goal. A co-worker told me it can be done if I play less games and read more. That may be true, but it is not like I can’t put a controller down to go read. The reason is games take longer to finish than books and when your interested or having fun then time passes without you noticing and the next thing you know it’s time for bed so you can get up for work in the morning…. okay that was a long winded sentence…

I tried making an organized stable schedule so I can equally do all my hobbies, but then things fall out of sync like they always do and then it’s hard to get back to the schedule you set in the first place. I am not making excuses…maybe complaining a little, but maybe if I tried harder and had more will power? I know this can be done and once you do something over and over again for a month it sticks as a habit.

The current book I am reading is the third in the Fallen series. The title is “Passion” from Lauren Kate. I admit the ending to the second book, Torment, was really good and I started reading Passion and it’s a bit more involved and interesting. You know when there are four or more books in the series that the first book and maybe the second book is going to be drawn out with the plot because the author has to set things up, or is still setting things up and that could be hard to read through. Because if the plot moves so slowly it makes irritated because I’m waiting for things to be revealed. Hopefully I can if I push myself that I can still make that ten novel goal for this year. I have four books done all ready.

I cheated.

Last night I was feeling frustrated and depressed about food (what I could not have and I possibly was going through withdrawal) and was about to cook a frozen pizza I had in the freezer. I only stock up or eat frozen pizza when money is tight and I can not order it. Yeah, so I have emergency pizza… ^^;

I also was taking a rest day from the gym…which does not help me in anyway of what I did.

Anyway, my mom said she wanted pizza (which is not often) and we wind up ordering out for the first time in a long while. She wound up with an Italian sub sandwich and some brownies for dessert. I wound up with a large sausage cheese pizza. I did not eat the whole thing. I could not eat the whole thing even if I wanted to. I got three slices in and started feeling full. When I was younger I could devour whole large pizzas by myself. As I got older that slowly started to change. My maximum pizza slice eating is usually nowadays five slices on a large, and six on a medium, and let us not talk about small sized pizzas.

I ate three slices last night and maybe around ten ounces of brownie. I really did not measure it. It was as big as my fist. I remember that much. I think my stomach shrunk some. The rest of the pizza is going to my work place for others to devour and finish. So, yes, it’s a minor set back, but are we not all entitled to one cheat meal at some point. One meal is not going to ruin everything. Just like one healthy meal is not going to fix everything.

So I am back on the horse today. So to speak… ^^