New Hiking Spots…

I have been contemplating new hiking spots to walk by myself. I know you’re not suppose to go on hikes by yourself and that it’s dangerous, but I would like to go on small hikes by myself or at least on hikes where I know there is a lot of traffic of people. I would never go on a big hike completely by myself no matter how much I am inspired by Cheryl Strayed’s book. I admire her for what she did and making herself come to terms with her own demons and healing herself. But, I have to admit that hiking the PCT alone was the most asinine thing to do on the planet. Things were different back then in the mid’ nineties, but still a lot of things could have happened.

I tested my blood pressure last week here and there and I have come to the conclusion that it only raises due to stress. I don’t think I need medication for it if my blood pressure only rises due to stress. Therefore, I am going to practice meditation more seriously and hope for the best. I think I should have a better sleeping schedule and get more sleep and have a better diet. I’ve been a bit depressed on and off again for the past couple of weeks. This happens every few years around Valentine’s day. I’m usually ecstatic about celebrating Single’s Awareness Day (S.A.D.) because also the acronym makes me laugh. I am going to try and think more positively to counter the blues this year.

I’ve also started shortening my time with video games and only play on the weekends. The experiment so far is that I can’t wait to play to relax and then yet I found this week was still blah…

Then I ask myself questions of if I am growing out of it, losing my patience with them, or as I try to get healthier my mind and body want to do more productive things. Maybe it’s all of the above? Maybe it’s the depression’s fault. I want things to change. Things are changing. Things have to change. Change is constant.

 

I wonder…

Things I wonder:

  1. Would people be interested if I wrote about book, film, or video game reviews in this blog?
  2. Do these pants make me look fat?
  3. Would I be able to keep up with book reviews?
  4. How do I import my hiking pictures to this blog?
  5. Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?
  6. If I was more consistent in blogging would I get more followers for my blog?
  7. How do I get more followers?
  8. What am I going to have for lunch?
  9. Will I ever wear those jeans again?
  10. Why did I make this stupid list?

Stress and Health…

So I finally made two connections to two things and figured out what was going on after trying to figure out what the cause was for my dizziness. What am I talking about?

Periodically and sporadically, I would get short three minute dizzy spells and on a rarer occasion they last five minutes. I decided to get my blood pressure checked not too long after a dizzy spell yesterday and it came out to 151/87 and they said it was a little high. I then checked it this morning and it was still slightly high…I remember I think it was 131/6…something?

I think my high blood pressure is anxiety/stress induced. I’ve been stressing out a lot these past….well since January.

So now I am in “Operation: Chill out and Calm the Frak down” mode and I also am dieting really hard to get my weight down. Because high blood pressure will go away when you lose weight and on the plus side my diabetes will get better. This past week I also had not had time to exercise so that part is my fault. There should be no excuses. It was and is very scary of this new discovery. I really, really, really do NOT want another medication put on me. I’m also thinking about my father and I’m starting to be like him (health wise) and it makes me more angry than scared.

I know my mom keeps telling me not to worry so much and not to worry about everything. It’s a lot like how you can’t tell a cancer patient to stop having cancer. It doesn’t work that way. Anxiety has to be worked through. You can’t just turn it off and on by sheer will or like a light switch.

I know I have many things to work on and maybe I’ll take it really seriously this time and not pull what my dad pulled and be good for three weeks so not to be put on insulin because he’s afraid of needles and then go back to the way you were and then die anyway.

I am not my father.

I’m still alive.

….I have a lot on my mind.

A dilemma…

I need to not read ten million books at once. What I mean is I do this with everything and not just books. I do this with video games and every other project or projects I should say that I have done. Nothing gets done not because I am not productive, but because I am doing too many things at once trying to get more done. I need to focus on ONE game at a time, ONE book at a time, ONE drawing at a time, ONE writing project at a time, etc…

I do not know what’s wrong with me or why I can’t get out of this habit. I hate it when people assume I don’t love books or that I am not a reader. The truth is I am always constantly reading and I don’t mean articles on the computer, smartphone, or other device. I mean actual novels, but I read a lot of them at the same time. This is why I never finish one novel in a timely normal manner.

I wish I had the answer….

I’ve tried several times to stick to ONE thing, but then I go back to the old way.

I think I need help.

Books!

I have bartered a deal with myself and came to some conclusions. Here is what I figured out…

1. When I read more and do a little gaming my brain power raises.

2. I really, really, really do love reading.

3. I want to read all my books from my backlog and the new ones I just purchased and that I am dying to read.

4. I need my spelling mojo back so there for I at least must read more like I did when I was younger.

5. I want to become the human spell checker. ^^;

 

So here is what I am going to do:

I am going to read on weekdays and game on weekends. I want to tackle my backlog of books more than my video game backlog. Why? Because my video game back log is mostly RPG’s and it used to take me a month to beat one RPG game, but now that I am an adult it takes twice as long if not a little longer. Books on the other hand depending on how many pages will take me a month or less to read. This is my thinking. And by the way I can’t wait to read “Anna Dressed in Blood” because the font color printing of the words look awesome!!! It’s not in black print people!

And that is my rant for the day…

Hiking Trip!

This past Saturday I went on a hiking trip up near Lake Mead on the Railroad trail. I went with a group of very awesome friends and we walked an hour in and then turned around and walked an hour back. I got a lot of dirt and rocks in my shoes and I had to stop to get them out occasionally. I packed stuff that I though I might need in my back pack for the trail. I almost felt like Cheryl Strayed and that I had Monster on my back. I felt it later in my upper back that I was sore. This will take awhile to heal and I can go to the gym and still get exercise, but playing Just Dance will have to wait until the weekend.

The Super Bowl was awesome! I went to my brother’s place and we were all rooting for the Eagles. This game has been the most interesting game in the last couple of years! There was some awesome plays too that were really exciting. 🙂

There was lots of food, rejoicing, cake, and fireworks. This weekend was really great. Also my books that I ordered came in and the covers felt wonderful and the smell of the them was phenomenal! I’m still waiting on one more book to be delivered. I got six new books…two of which I already own on my Kindle, but I love the series so much I am trying to collect them in paperback form. I’m up to “Heir of Fire” now with collecting and I got the “Assassin’s Blade” which is a prequel novella of lots of different stories of the main character from “The Glass Throne” by Sarah J. Maas.

Other than that the new list of books are as follows:

1. Clockwork Angel (The infernal Devices Series #1), by Cassandra Clare

2. Red Queen (Red Queen Series #1), by Victoria Aveyard

3. Anna Dressed in Blood, by Kendare Blake

4. The Girl of Fire and Thorns, by Rae Carson

I’m really excited to read these and I can’t wait! Although, I am going to wait until I have a mini vacation in a couple of weeks to read the Assassin’s Blade cause I heard it plays on the heart strings and I will need to prepare things just in case I wind up an emotional mess. ^^;

 

 

Many posts…

I finished awhile ago “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed. I got inspired to change a few things and I do want to go hiking more and change my name for a change that feels closer to me. I keep thinking it’s not okay to have many metamorphosis through out one’s life. But, it is okay and it’s okay to keep changing.

There was other stuff that had happened in my short absence of not posting, but I’ll be ready to post that another day.

New Plan…

I have been very busy and I’ve had a lot going on from the last time I posted. Sorry for anyone that does follow me. But, here is a quick update…

I bought Just Dance 2017 for the Switch and love it. It’s better than DDR and I can see me using it for a long time with out it getting out dated in a way of me always ruining dance pads and replacing them. The dance pads are hard to come by and they aren’t always working for me. I think I will enjoy this form of video game exercise for a long time to come.

Next is the hiking trip with the Very Awesome Girls this Saturday. I will blog about it after and hopefully post some pictures. I want to be more active and I want to get an A in my Japanese class. New plans and new ways of thinking and I want to document it all by writing in my paper journals.

I want to read more and keep my brain more active. I splurged a bit and bought six new books to read. I figure if reading just a bit normal than usual made my points on the Reading part of my big test jump up high…think of the brain power when I read even more! Oh by the way I past that big test by three points! Yay me! \(^_^)/

Diet or Health?

Do we diet to be healthy or to lose the pounds and look good? People can be vain and just want to exercise and diet to look good rather than consider their health. This could lead to many dangers though if one is not careful. I think diets are more successful if you think of them as lifestyle changes and to better your body and your health. Treat your body with love, respect, and like a temple. You can start by choosing the way you think every morning. If you change one thought a day and get more positive results by thinking positive that could lead a healthier mental state. I know easier said than done and those of you who suffer from bi polar, manic depressive disorder, or other disorders should probably talk to your doctor for a better course of action. I’m not a doctor so I can only make suggestions that could possibly work for some people. If I find the key to get better then surely it can work for others if I find it.

Coming soon…

…A really important journal post thing update.