So I finally made two connections to two things and figured out what was going on after trying to figure out what the cause was for my dizziness. What am I talking about?
Periodically and sporadically, I would get short three minute dizzy spells and on a rarer occasion they last five minutes. I decided to get my blood pressure checked not too long after a dizzy spell yesterday and it came out to 151/87 and they said it was a little high. I then checked it this morning and it was still slightly high…I remember I think it was 131/6…something?
I think my high blood pressure is anxiety/stress induced. I’ve been stressing out a lot these past….well since January.
So now I am in “Operation: Chill out and Calm the Frak down” mode and I also am dieting really hard to get my weight down. Because high blood pressure will go away when you lose weight and on the plus side my diabetes will get better. This past week I also had not had time to exercise so that part is my fault. There should be no excuses. It was and is very scary of this new discovery. I really, really, really do NOT want another medication put on me. I’m also thinking about my father and I’m starting to be like him (health wise) and it makes me more angry than scared.
I know my mom keeps telling me not to worry so much and not to worry about everything. It’s a lot like how you can’t tell a cancer patient to stop having cancer. It doesn’t work that way. Anxiety has to be worked through. You can’t just turn it off and on by sheer will or like a light switch.
I know I have many things to work on and maybe I’ll take it really seriously this time and not pull what my dad pulled and be good for three weeks so not to be put on insulin because he’s afraid of needles and then go back to the way you were and then die anyway.
I am not my father.
I’m still alive.
….I have a lot on my mind.