A little lost…

I find myself struggling. I feel my training is what I absolutely need to do and yet I feel worn out, tired, sluggish, and deprived. I say deprived because I know I need to stop eating the bad foods and make better choices. I also feel deprived when I do not train and do the thing that I need to do. Sometimes you have to just make yourself get up and go, or if at all possible do something different. I want to try DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) again and see if I can substitute it for gym time. If I can get at least twenty to thirty minutes of DDR time in today that would be good. At least it’s something different and it is colorful and fun and I really love it. But, on the other hand I miss Ellie at the gym and I call the machine that because it is short for Elliptical. It is my favorite gym machine and I do not know what I would do without it. I need to get out of this funk and I know nothing is instantaneous. I have to keep working at it or I might be forced to use other methods like other medications that was suggested by my doctor. I hate pills, I hate medicine, and if I could get off all my current medication I would be a happy camper.

Music is good therapy for me and so is an hour or two of Minecraft. In Minecraft you have lulling calming music while doing monotonous tasks that either calm you or put you to sleep. It only puts me to sleep if I am tired and I had not gotten sleep previously. There are other ways to cope as well such as writing things down in a diary/journal. If you type personal stuff on a blog it does not have as much meaning/feeling of pouring all the bad/sad/whatever stuff out as physically writing it. Art is the next best thing to express oneself with whatever a person might be going through whether you are good or not. Art can be anything from drawing, sculpting, writing a story/poetry, coloring, cooking (it is in the presentation), and whatever you can make with your own hands and creativity. You can actually combine Minecraft and art by making pixel art with the blocks. I am not very good at pixel art in Minecraft, but a lot of people are and I just sit there in creative mode and play with the blocks and call it “Virtual Legos”. Which, I was not too good at the real thing as a kid. I was the kid that made lopsided houses and weird stuff.

Here’s hope to more positive outlook and thoughts! 🙂

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